Twice a year a “leadership shuffle” occurs across the Athens Chick-fil-A organization that I lead in. This shifting of leaders between the four individual locations happens for two distinct reasons. The first is simply to address the needs of the business! Sometimes, the person who was in that role has moved on for their next career step with Chick-fil-A. Other times, the individual themselves is being shifted internally. The second reason for the leadership shuffle is to provide new challenges for each leader. Once someone’s learning curve begins to flatten out, introducing a new role in a new area of the business with a new team immediately increases the level of difficulty significantly. 

One such leadership shuffle took place here last month. Due to the addition of a new location, this shuffle was a biggie! Because of some significant leader movement across the organization, each new team spent a leader bonding day together in an effort to build some baseline trust and comradery. During the bonding day for my location, I was struck by something that really stood out as each leader shared how to best work and communicate with them. 

Three different people shared the fact that they really struggle to ask for help. This was by far the most common theme as we went around the room. The more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that this is not a problem limited to this group of high performing CFA managers. Here are a few specific observations in regard to this phenomenon.

Asking for Help

1. Those at risk- While every person could potentially struggle with asking for help, talented high performers are particularly at risk. This group is used to succeeding and to controlling outcomes for themselves. But when a situation comes along that requires the assistance of others, it’s like being asked to use an atrophied muscle. Managers are especially at risk for this. As the people out in front who are supposed to have all the answers, asking for help can feel comparable to straight up failure.  
2. Key causes- There are many different reasons that cause someone to avoid help, but here are four. First, they don’t want it to seem like they are doing a bad job, or like they don’t know how to do their job. Another reason would be people’s desire to control things and not let others in. Third, avoiding help is often simply caused by insecurity. A person’s confidence is already low, and accepting assistance feels like a gut punch right to their already flimsy ego. Asking for help requires humility. A fourth reason is not wanting to bother others. “She’s so busy, I don’t want to put this on her already full plate”. 
3. Opposed to teamwork- A person who does not ask for help will not be an ideal team player. A basic requirement of teamwork is that we have each other’s backs and that we lock arms together to accomplish something. Take this away, and each person floats apart like separate pieces to a disjointed puzzle. Want to be a team player? Ask for and provide help. 
4. What they want- Others OFTEN truly want to help out. They have skills, experience, or capacity that is available to those around them. There can be an idea that asking for help will annoy others…but the exact opposite is often the case. Others will care for someone and be willing and capable of lending a hand, but the other person prevents or even rejects the assistance. 
5. Lesser evil- Which is worse: Asking for help early on, with vulnerability? Or waiting, creating a mess, and making yourself look silly and then still having to get help for what is now a much bigger mess for someone else to have to help clean up? When we stop to think about it, enlisting help is the obvious better choice. 
6. Note the gravity- If a person was stranded on an island and someone could rescue them, would they reject the help? If their clothes somehow caught on fire, would they avoid a nearby person who had an extinguisher? These are extreme situations where the stakes are literally life or death. Most work/life situations come nowhere near this level of seriousness. Even still, if what we are doing matters and we place any level of real importance on it, we would do well to welcome assistance that would help to produce the best possible outcome. 

In Closing

Lots more could be said in regard to avoiding help, but these are a few key things. For some reason, I am quicker to ask for help than the average person, and I wouldn’t trade this for the world! In most instances, everyone wins. 

Should you be quicker to ask for and accept help? If so, why are you not already doing exactly that? Which of the 6 points above could most help you in your quest to invite in more help?