A few weeks ago I unfortunately had one of the worst off days in recent memory. Before the day began, it had all the makings of a great day. After sending my oldest son off to VBS, a guy from work hopped into the car with me and we headed off towards the lake for a fishing adventure. Little did we know the adventure that awaited us. With the boat in tow, the cooler filled with waters, and more rods and baits than needed, we were all set for a good time. What could go wrong?

A few hours and a lot of sweat later, we decided to drive the boat around for a bit to cool off. Roaring down the lake at 45 mph was the perfect remedy for the hot conditions. Moving further and further down the lake away from where my car and trailer were parked, we were feeling better and better. Then just like that, disaster hit. The motor began making a funny noise, and 5 seconds later it completely shut off. We both just looked at each other in disbelief. After a quick call to the boat repair shop, we realized that our fate was already sealed. With no other boat anywhere in sight, I dropped the trolling motor and we began what would be an hour long trip SLOWLY creeping our way all the way back to the launch point. We then drove another hour to the boat shop, where the diagnosis was a motor that was blown and would need thousands of dollars worth of repairs.

In his book The Culture Code, author Daniel Coyle proposes that high in performing groups the individuals feel safe, connected, and that they have a positive future together. In the midst of my recent less than ideal off day, I was reminded of this as it pertains to the power of proximity.

Proximity Power

1. Proximity increases connection. My coworker and I work well together and generally are on the same page. But after spending hours of uninterrupted time together, I feel a closer connection with him. The funny part is that beforehand I wouldn’t have said that we were not well connected. But looking back on it now, we are closer than I even knew that we could be. 
2. Proximity increases trust. Much like connection, spending time around another person forms a tighter bond of trust. It’s easy to distrust someone from a distance. But up close and personal, motives become more clear and it becomes easier to trust another person. 
3. Proximity increases understanding. How often we assume that someone is one way, but then with increased time around them we find that we were completely wrong. Spending increased time around someone helps us to see life from their point of view. It reframes our viewpoint of how they think and why they act the way that they do.
4. Proximity increases authenticity. For years I have said that the most effective way to interview someone for a job is just to spend multiple hours with them over the course of the same day. It’s easy to put our best selves forward for short periods of time. But at a certain point the walls come down and we end up being our authentic selves while others do the same as well.

In Closing

Who is someone in your life that you don’t feel connected to, trusting or understanding of, or authentic around? What would it look like to increase your proximity to them?