It’s not often that I leave a work meeting with a heavy heart. But this was exactly the case a few weeks ago after I spent an hour meeting with a young lady who is a mid-level leader in the Chick-fil-A that I manage. Two different things from this meeting contributed to my disquiet. The first was simply the fact that this employee has been dealt one of the worst hands possible over her short life. While she has done more than most would to overcome these circumstances, it’s still heartbreaking to hear. The second was the last thing that this employee said right as we wrapped up our meeting time. After thanking me for the time, she said how relieved she was. When I asked what she felt relieved about, she responded “For some reason I was afraid that you were going to fire me”. With these words coming from a person who was just promoted in the past few months and is absolutely crushing it in her job each day, this response shocked me.

Why is it that as humans we spend more hours of our lives controlled by fear than we would like to admit?

The Line

I have referred back to this podcast episode more than any other over the past 6 or so years. Here Jim Dethmer lays out the concept of “the line”, and the fact that all people are either above or below the line at every point in time. Above the line is “creator consciousness”. Here, someone is trusting, confident, willing to take risks, and living freely. Below the line lies “victim consciousness”. This is the realm where fear reigns. Because of this, here people are closed off, paranoid, and in self-survival mode. Above the line I believe that you are more or less willing to be your true self, without fear of how others view you. Below the line, the exact opposite is true.  Dethmer challenges listeners to be able to identify at any moment whether they are existing above or below the line. The objective here is for leaders to function above the line and create contexts where others can more easily do the same as well. 

In my experience, each person is more or less likely to function below the line based on a few different factors. First, certain people can play into this. For example, some individuals move below the line when the boss is around. It doesn’t really matter who the boss is or how they lead, but the singular fact that they are the boss alone is enough to bring on feelings of dread. For others, certain individuals like a specific parent or friend cause the exact same feelings. Second, certain situations play into this as well. For one group, large meetings move them below the line. For others, it could be high conflict situations or times when they are around strangers. 

Much of the fear that we experience stems from things that will not ever occur. Think about it…of the things that you have worried about over the past say 3 months, what percentage of those issues actually occurred? Is it even 5%? Often, we are at no real risk but still are being ruled by fear.

Way back in 2019, author James Clear wrote on the difference between living in an Immediate Return vs. a Delayed Return Environment. He laid out the fact that now, more than ever, humans live in a Delayed Environment where our minds are occupied by potential threats that we cannot do anything about and that won’t play out for a LONG time. “Will Social Security benefits still be a thing when I retire in 30 years?”. But in an Immediate Environment, decisions are made in the moment and have immediate resolutions. This is more so true of hunter-gatherer societies, for example. With every year that goes by, there is more technology and more pressure on us to exist in a Delayed Return Environment, which can be an added factor that moves us below the line.

Most of the time, living below the line is no real way to live. When you or I think back to the worries that we had a few months or years ago, they mostly seem silly. But the fears of today seem so real and then BOOM, back below the line we go again.

In Closing

Begin paying attention to how often you are above/below the line. Are you pleased with the ratio? What certain people or situations move you below the line? Are you happy with all of this? If not, is there any real risk that exists in these situations, or is it all just made up in your own head?