Every person holds multiple different titles over the course of their life. At this moment I am a boss, employee, manager, leader, church elder, church member, brother, son, uncle, husband, and father, just to name some. Each of these roles holds significant importance and, when done well, each can have a tangible positive impact on others. But in terms of substantial impact on specific individuals, the role of “father” no doubt carries the greatest weight. Every single adult still carries some level of baggage, either great or small, that they received during childhood from a parent. The weight of this is incalculable! Minimizing the amount of pain inflicted on a kid while still effectively preparing them for adulthood feels more and more important with every year that goes by. 

Due to this, there are a number of different lessons that I work hard to teach my two sons as often as possible. The goal is to equip them to best be able to fulfill the second greatest commandment (the greatest is to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind”) which is to “love their neighbors as themselves” while maximizing their ability to positively impact those around them throughout their lives. While they are learning these at a young age, these lessons are equally as important for us as grownups, whether in the workplace, at home, or in other realms of life.

A Few Lessons

-Do Unto Others: In Matthew chapter 7 Jesus shares The Golden Rule when He says “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets”. It’s funny how we hope for people to deal with us a certain way, but then often do not do the same back for them. One example of this is in taking more than what we need from something that belongs to others. When I am in my own home, I am careful with how much shampoo, body wash, etc. I use. But when staying at a hotel or a relative’s house, there’s a temptation to take larger amounts every time simply because it doesn’t directly cost me. Along these same lines, most folks pick up trash off of the floor of their house or restroom, but out at public places the same rules don’t quite seem to apply. Every time that I enter a public restroom with my boys I remind them to pick up trash before washing their hands in an effort to leave things better than how we found them. Do unto others!

-Mirrored Reciprocation: Peter Kaufman’s speech on going first and going positive is a life masterclass. He argues that every interaction that you or I have with someone else is mirrored reciprocation. If we smile, they smile back. If we yell, they respond equally as negatively. Instead of waiting on the other person, Kaufman challenges us to take the FIRST initial step and to always make it a POSITIVE one. I remind my boys of this here and there, for their sake AND for the sake of those who they will come across in the years to come.

-Helping or Hindering: Asking the question “Is this helping you get what you want?” is so simple. But it’s genius. We often act in ways that are directly opposed to what we want. Take for example the employee who once went into a hysterical crying tirade filled with vague accusations in the middle of a work promotion meeting. She wanted to be promoted, but then acted in a way that would get someone fired from their current job. I challenge my boys to identify what exactly it is that they want and then to do the logical things that will most help them accomplish that. While this should never turn into manipulating others, it just makes good sense.

In Closing

Which of these three areas are you A) aware of and B) consistently winning in? Which area(s) might be lagging, and what adjustments could you make to neutralize this?