So much has been said and written about success. Whether in business, sports, relationships, or any number of different realms of life, a variety of different ingredients are required to produce elite level results over a long period of time. Hard work, resilience, a strong network, patience, and numerous other important elements are often key. But which comes first? What is the foundational building block for pursuing success?

Respect One Rule

Brazilian lyricist Paul Coehlo says that “If you want to be successful, you must respect one rule: NEVER LIE TO YOURSELF”. Another way to say this is that the 1st rule of being successful is do not lie to yourself. 

The first handful of times that I read this quote I’ll admit that I didn’t get it. What does lying to yourself, or to others, really have to do with success? But over the years, I’ve seen more and more just how true this is. Let’s look at a couple of examples:

1. Person A (let’s call him John) says that he wants to be a successful employee. There are a few people who John works with that are much further along than he is. These people go out of their way to give John some pointers. But John decides that he doesn’t need their help and that he is better off on his own. His actions show that he actually does not have the humility and awareness to do the things required to be a successful employee. John lies to himself, and this inhibits his ability to be successful.
2. Person B (let’s call her Abbie) says that she wants to be a successful athlete. She is advised to invest the time and money participating in a travel team. She sees that others have followed this same path and it’s worked. But Abbie decides that she is talented and driven and can make it without this investment. She lies to herself, and this inhibits her ability to be successful. 

While there could be more examples of this given, you get the picture. As humans, we often can be so quick to deceive ourselves. We are dishonest about exactly where we are at, what effort we will give, or what our actual end goal is. We lack the courage to call things like they really are. We know the correct answers, but we avoid them and lie to ourselves. We do this to feel better about ourselves, but this ends up preventing the effort and growth required to push towards being successful. When we are not honest with ourselves and with others then we can’t grow or improve almost at all. This causes us to be stuck at square 1 until we get honest about things.

Pro hockey player Jason Spezza puts it like this: “A big skill, if you want to play for a long time, is just being honest in assessing how you’re playing”.

“I’m too busy”. No you’re not. You choose what you will/won’t put on your calendar.

“I just couldn’t keep myself from responding that way”. Yes you could. You’re not a child or an animal. You choose your words and actions. 

“I can’t take it anymore”. Yes you can. Get some rest, drink some water, go for a walk. Humans can navigate astounding situations if we simply put our mind to it.

In Closing

What areas might you currently be lying to yourself in? Why are you doing this? Do you see this preventing you from actually being your most successful self? Will you be honest with yourself? Like actually 100% honest? Remember, NEVER lie to yourself!