In any given year I am able to conduct 100 or more job interviews annually. After doing this for the past 10 years, a number of clear patterns have begun to emerge over time. These include things like the fact that some people articulate what they hope to GET out of the job while others share what they plan to GIVE to make the organization better. Another theme that I’ve noticed over the past handful of years revolves around athletes. Those who have taken part in organized competitive sports display a few key attributes that can help them thrive amongst a team in the workplace as well. Perhaps the top attribute they show is the ability to accept coaching.

If you turn on a sports game you will see a number of different contributors who are involved in each game. The lead actors, of course, are the players. The supporting cast is made up of multiple key groups of people who contribute in different ways to the players as they play the game. These same groups can exist in a person’s life as well, much like in sports. So what are these groups? Which group should you and I seek to surround ourselves with? And who should we seek to be for the people who are around us each day?

4 Groups

1. Referees: These are the people who are paid to watch everything that is being done and penalize any breaking of the rules. Players often argue with them, and referees ignore their complaints and stick with their initial assessment. Referees carry flags and cards while using hand signals to show everyone who has committed a violation and what the penalty is. In life, knowing and following the rules can be an important aspect of things, but too much of this becomes a good thing turned bad. If you surround yourself with even one referee too often, you can start to feel defeated or to lose confidence. Sports have clear rules. Life has laws that govern it, but sometimes trying to follow a set group of rules can actually be more of a hindrance as it prevents creativity and risk taking. If you are too much of a referee to the people around you, they will begin to avoid you and will detest your presence. To me, the need for a referee in life is very low.
2. Cheerleaders: These are the people who are enthusiastically supporting the players no matter if they’re up by 30 or losing by 30. Cheerleaders are ignored by players. By and large, they aren’t adding much substantive value to the team. In life, having others cheer us on can be a valuable thing. The problem occurs if they are just celebrating us no matter whether we are making wise or foolish decisions. Receiving blind support as we head straight towards the edge of a cliff is in no way helpful. If you are too much of a cheerleader for the people around you, it can become an unhelpful crutch to them, or they will begin to tune out your constant enthusiasm. To me, the need for cheerleaders in life is very low.  
3. Fans: These are the people who are enthralled with the players. They are on the edge of their seats waiting to explode in celebration when someone makes a great play. But they also turn on players when they underperform. Fans are all smiles when things are good, but they’re the exact opposite when tough times arrive. In life, fans are great if you are accomplishing what they expect and if you are fulfilling their desires. But come up short, and at best they disappear and at worst they turn hostile. There’s something inherently unhealthy about having fans in the traditional sense. It overinflates your ego, and then when it all comes crashing down it leaves you devastated. Seeking to establish fans and keep them happy can be a dangerous proposition that prevents you from actually accomplishing things worth doing. If you are too much of a fan for the people around you, then you are setting them up in a no-win situation while maintaining a level of selfishness that feeds off of what they can provide for you. To me, the need for fans in life is very low. 
4. Coaches: These are the people who push the players to be their best while providing the resources needed to do so. They are obsessed with both the success of the team as a whole as well as with the success of each individual player. They give maximum effort when they are with the players, but also in behind-the-scenes time, to lead their people to win. They are vocal about giving feedback to their players, and they both tell them and show them how to do things better. Even the best athletes in their sport have coaches who help them maximize their talent. In life, coaches are the key to winners being produced! No person ever reaches close to their maximum potential without at least one great coach. Coaching brings experience, expertise, and a third-party perspective that speeds up the development process. Interestingly, a coach can also do a little refereeing, cheering, and can be a fan for someone. But all of this is done in a way that still focuses on maximizing the other person’s talent. Coaches push when they need to and encourage when they need to. They provide whatever is needed to grow the other person. If you are a coach for the people around you, they will thrive and move closer to reaching their potential and they will thank you. To me, the need for coaches in life could not be higher!

In Closing

As shared by Hall of Fame basketball coach Geno Auriema, coaching is being critical of someone’s actions without being critical of them as a person. James Clear says that apprenticing under an expert is one of the only true shortcuts in life. Unlike refereeing, cheerleading, and fandom, coaching consistently leaves others better than they would have been otherwise. Coaching is the key to producing winners.

Are you maintaining helpful coaches in your life? Are you a coach for the people around you? It makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE!