A phenomenon that many have never experienced occurs when you stand in front of a group of people to present a speech, sermon, teach a class, or lead a meeting of any kind. Upon scanning the audience, you quickly realize that 90-100% of the attendees look tired, bored, or often even confused. While this could of course reflect back on the presenter (insert guy waving emoji here!), over the years I have become certain that it’s the audience who is usually at fault. The meeting time, location, topic, number of participants, size of the group…even with all these factors changed the result still remains mostly the same. Perhaps most befuddling, even when discussing something basic like the fact that grass is green, a portion of the audience looks on with confusion written all over their faces.

Flip the script

If most people present themselves this way in classes and meetings, what would occur if one was to do the exact opposite? I decided to try this years ago and was blown away by the results. Inevitably, the exact same pattern unfolds in most group contexts where I do not know the speaker. The leader is talking and scanning the room. The entire room stares back listlessly. I make good eye contact, nod my head up and down methodically showing understanding and agreeing, and cock it to one side or the other to denote that I am processing what is being said or waiting for clarification when needed. Tracking along with the speaker, hanging on every word, attentive and engaged. After more or less time has passed, the leader starts locking onto me more and more, speaking off of the signals being sent. By the end of the time I am receiving chunks of direct attention as the leader feeds off of the fuel. Once about two years ago, the presenter sought me out after the presentation had concluded and thanked me for the active engagement and pointed it out directly. This was in a room of 100 total people.

The point of this of course is not to highlight my personal meeting tendencies. Instead, it’s to shed light on the opportunity that exists here for each of us as professionals and human beings!

What happens next

There are multiple positive outcomes that flow from this kind of active listening in meetings. 

First, you help the speaker. This person has no idea how what they are sharing is being received unless someone sends feedback signals. This is no doubt one of many factors that causes people to fear public speaking. 

Second, you help the entire audience. Most people thrive when presenting information with more confidence of course, and when the entire room looks disengaged a speaker will often begin to over explain things or just give up and start to cut out otherwise helpful information, neither of which benefit anyone in attendance. 

Third, you help yourself. Imagine the compounding impact of being an engaged listener over time. When done in a one-off setting, you create a direct connection and glean more than anyone else. But as this plays out in settings where you sit under the same speaker time after time, like a boss in the workplace, you become identified as someone who cares and is engaged and this helps to build trust and set you apart. 

The world would be a much better place if there were more active listeners, including in group settings. For now, there are so few that if you step up to the plate this can truly be low hanging fruit as you add more impact and separate yourself from the rest.

One tangible action:

Look at your calendar and identify the next group context that you will attend. Class, church, a work meeting, etc. Walk into the room fully committed to trying this and see how it goes.

Pro Tip:

Focus on helping the speaker/the rest of the audience, not on how you are coming off or how other disengaged listeners might view you. When we focus on GETTING, it doesn’t work out at, least some of the time. When we focus on GIVING, we expand out positive impact on others…AND it often comes right back to us in similar measure!